K Gets Some Support

DrFaDi says:

First, i would like to congratulate you for choosing a psychologist who believes he cannot change you. Actually, being gay is no longer considered to be a mental illness. On the contrary, shrinks should not try to change sexuality of a person, but make him feel comfortable with it.

Banky: policemen (London)

I believe your problem is being afraid of your homosexuality. Have you thought of WHY you are afraid of being gay? Are you afraid of being different? I think you already know that homosexuality is normal, i would even say it's natural. What is more convincing is knowing that there are gay animals!! In animal kingdom, religion and society don't play any role, so they can behave as they please. (btw, statistics show there are 10% of a population that is gay, just so you don't feel lonely).

It's too bad that society has put limits for this natural preference. It was common in Greek and Roman societies to have gay sex, it was even common between the teacher and his student. Athletes used to do it too, many ancient drawings show this. But when monotheist religions came and ruled, they banned all these practices and considered them as sins. It is even banned for married couples to have sex if not planning to conceive. They just want to protect The Family.

Nowadays, since the liberation of minds and declaration of Human Rights, homosexuality is being liberated from religion. Societies are looking at gay people in a human point of view. They are after all as human as straight people. So my advice for you is accept yourself, be happy with yourself, and don't worry! There are many openly gay people who succeeded, there are even more who are in the closet but still help their brothers. We should be united to change society's view. Be proud to be gay!

Majd says:

Yo, K, I just came out to my Palestinian/Syrian dad living in Canada a couple of months ago. It was difficult, full of contradictions. And i'm still living the shock resulting from it. I haven't had a conversation with him that's more than "hi, how are you." since i told him. Like you, i'm not OK with the way casual sex is, in a way, shoved down our throats (no pun intended), although i have a many friends who enjoy it. It's ok to have those different contradictions. The most important thing is that we're aware of them and try to resolve them.

Anon says:

Great post ! To this anonymous writer from another anonymous writer... If there is a reason why gays would ever want to change, its not because of us being gay- its because society is still learning to understand and accept us. We are living in a historical and changing time period. But if society accepted us just like they do heterosexuals, i highly doubt anyone would ever think of changing. The love and intimacy that two guys share is beyond words, but if i have to think of a word to describe it, it would be "phenomenal".

That alone would never make me want to change to please others- that fact that it feels so right and natural. I'm a 100 % Lebanese, happily married(to a guy) . We have a child together and my Lebanese parents and cousins all know and love me unconditionally. My Husband, son and I attend church regularly and the pastor loves and respects us as we are. We live our lives very normally and rarely ever encounter prejudiced or discrimination. We enjoy being an pioneers in our community and braking barriers for the younger LGBT generation who needs good role models. I pray that you can find some inner peace and love and acceptance.
In Pride we Trust

Anon says:

If I may, there are a couple assumptions here that aren't shared by the entire gay community. For example, I didn't start understanding I was gay until much later in my life, thinking that my attraction to men was simply because of the lack of women in my life (I lived in Syria, where gender segregation was more popular). Once I moved to Lebanon, and a short trip to England later, I realized I could have access to all the women in the world, and it wasn't going to change what I wanted.

Never did it cross my mind, though, that there was something wrong with me. I understood quickly that there was prejudice against who I was, but I didn't think that who I was was particularly wrong or vile - I thought other people were prejudiced. Reconciling my faith and my identity were harder, but somehow being biologically who I am just didn't seem so wrong to me.

Which brings us to the pill question: No. Even after thought, even after realizing that I'd have to work harder and live in the periphery, I don't want a pill that would change me. I'd be far more frightened of anything that would so fundamentally change me than anything anyone can throw at me. Literally - I fear not being myself more than losing my life. This isn't to say that your experience isn't legitimate or that others don't experience what you experience.

It's just too kind of offset the assumption that we ALL feel that way. As for telling parents and stuff, that is more along the lines of not hurting them rather than not being comfortable with who we are. I also hide that I drink and eat pork, and have occasionally smoked stuff that wasn't tobacco. That's not about being ashamed of that as much as I know my parents would really, really not like it.


  1. Dr. Fady, i was lucky to have falled on a good psychologist, I didnt go around town searching for one that couldnt!
    In fact I went around town searching for one that could change me but that turned out to be stupid.
    I am not afraid of being gay, I just dont want to deal with it! I mean everyone has enough problems, do I really want to deal with this one as well?!
    If we lived in the Greek/Roman period I wouldnt have such a hard time with it. Its the fact that I live in a homophobic society which makes everything more complicated for me.

    Majd I am sure that because your parents dont live in this region it will be easier for them to accept it.

    Anon#1, I am happy for you and your life seems really interesting, however my cynical self believes this NEVER happens or maybe very rarely (like some rare disease, or in your case a sort of miracle)

    Anon#2, I respect your point of view, but does your sexuality defines you? Then this would mean that we are gay, and thats it. Changing your sexual orientation doesnt change you. It just changes a part of you. Its like having a plastic surgery! Without going into the pro and cons, however plastic surgery is done to fit better in our society. Of course you could argue that plastic surgery is self destructive, while in my scene it would simply be to swallow a pill...

    Anyways thank you gays (no, its not a spelling mistake!) for your support I really appreciated it alot!

  2. second response to K- From Anon2
    Having a nose job is superficial(plastic surgery). It is like the close you wear.
    so to answer your questions, yes sexuality is a part of my soul and essence and it is an essential part of who I am today, it is ETERNAL, unlike my body. So to answer your questions, it would absolutely change everything about be to have my sexual preference changed- my life would be completely different and I would never want to change that part of me. I would not be me without my sexuality and if i was going to define myself- denying my sexuality in that definition would be denying myself.

  3. AnonymousJune 11, 2011

    Which psychologist did you use? I would love to hear about a gay-friendly shrink in Beirut.


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